Thursday, April 12, 2012

FIRST CASE OF SPRING FEVER DOCUMENTED

By Dave Taylor

Knot holing is discouraged within the city.
Bridgepark General Hospital officials are gearing up for an epidemic of Spring Fever patients. "The next few weeks will be the worst."  hospital spokesman Gill Tee told Channel 1 News. "Although Cabin Fever cases were down this year due to the warm winter, Spring Fever is always unpredictable."
With the warmest March in history, the first few extreme cases are emerging ahead of schedule. Dareem Weaver 24, of Dare Village, was the first reported case when he was found "hugging" a limb,  in a tree. Efforts to get him to come down were unsuccessful and the fire department was called along with a Bridgeport Police negotiator. After negotiations failed, the man was tased and lowered down with the assistance of a boom truck. Weaver was then transported to Bridgepark General and listed as the season's first Spring Fever sufferer.
There was only a two week interim this year between the change over from Cabin to Spring Fever. On March 29, Ivan Stucinhouse 59, of Bridgepark was released from the hospital after a near fatal case of Cabin Fever. Stucinhouse had tried to eat himself to death to rid himself of boredom. He ate non stop for three days until a pizza delivery girl called 911. Medical officials came and hauled him to the hospital.
Ivan Stucinhouse wanted to eat himself to death.
Life in Bridgepark goes on, and Channel 1 News is here to report it.

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