Sunday, May 20, 2012

BULLET PROOF VEST FAILS SECOND TEST IN A ROW

 The following story never saw the light of day after the NRA killed the story. (No pun intended)



NEWS CAMERAS WERE BANNED FROM THE FIRING RANGE EVEN THOUGH FOOD VENDORS WERE ALLOWED IN FOR THE TEST EVENT.....

BRIDGEPORT
May 20, 2012


Vests R Us of Bridge Park, whose business catch phrase is "A Vest For Every Chest" is on scramble after their latest entry into the lucrative bullet proof vest market failed a second test. Gunner Stevens, CEO of VRU, was at a loss for words Saturday after witnessing the failed test.  Test volunteer Will Dent, of Bridgeport was taken to Park General Hospital, after taking a bullet to his chest on Saturday morning while wearing the company's experimental vest. 
"You gotta be (expletive) me!"
Will Dent, said with a
surprised look, when the bullet passed
through the bullet proof vest.
  
CEO Stevens spoke with OFF THE WALL NEWS in an exclusive paid interview and had this to say, "First off, my hat is off to Dent's family.  Everyone here at VRU is pulling for his recovery and we will hold his position for him and welcome him back when he's ready to return.  As for the failed test, we don't know what went wrong.  Everything was going as planned right up to firing the test weapon."  Stevens then paused and continued,  "Mr. Dent's face went from surprise to horror when he realized the bullet had penetrated the vest."
This is the second failed test in two months.  In March, Dent's twin brother, Bigger, also took a bullet to the chest and is currently learning to breath on his own once again.  Company officials are looking into why the vests are failing.  "This shouldn't be happening." test engineer, Oha Shita said to anyone who would listen.  When asked why test dummies aren't being used instead of live ones, he replied, "Test dummies can't give us feed back, like the Dent brothers can." 
Vests R Us plans one more test next month and hopes to have a reliable bullet proof vest ready to go by Beggars Night, Bridgeport's   worse night for crime, when city police are most at risk.
OFF THE WALL NEWS will closely monitor this situation.

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