Thursday, May 17, 2012

POLL REVEALS PEOPLE UPSET WITH POLLS

A crowd gathered outside of
Polls R Us  show their anger.
Several angry poll takers gathered outside the downtown offices of Polls R Us, in an apparent show of hostility against the Bridgeport polling giant. 
Bob E. Soks, 27, of rural Bridgeport told Channel 1 News yesterday's poll was the final straw. "Some woman from Polls R Us calls and asks me to answer a few questions about why I answer polling questions, I mean for (expletive) sake, give me a (expletive) break!"

Several other members of the crowd voiced similar resentments.  Betsy Duz, 50, filled out over 200 polling questionnaires last year alone, on an array of subjects ranging from penial implants to crooked teeth.  "They just keep calling or sending out the questionnaires" Duz told Channel 1 News.  "I've loved being apart of the polling process, but I'm seriously thinking about joining Polers Anonymous."

Police were called just after midnight to disperse the unruly crowd.  A poll was then taken on the effects of the police procedures against the protesters.  Channel 1 News will print the results of that poll once it has been analyzed by Polls R Us.
Anyone wishing to be placed on the Polls R Us poll takers list, is asked to send their name to Polls R Us, in care of Channel 1 News.  You must be 18 and willing to submit to a body cavity search.

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