Saturday, August 4, 2012

OLYMPIC SLAP OFF RESULTS ARE IN

Channel 1 News was unable to report the results of yesterday's Slap Off between the Russians and Chinese because of timing issues.  The bout between Suzi Sling and Bustus Balsoff had just gotten into the meat of the match when we had to file our Olympic report to meet a deadline.
Bustus Balsoff stares in disbelief after
the referee stopped the slap off.
To complete this story, the match lasted for two hours, twelve minutes, and four seconds before Italian referee Tony Baloney ended the match, declaring a double technical on both athletes. A technical is called when an athlete gets a bruise or cut.
"I had him, but judge let him get away."
The Russian, Balsoff, told Channel 1 News, "I was wanting that Gold Medal and now I have to wait four more year.  This not bruise on face, just make up."  The Chinese contender, Suzy Sling was hauled out of the arena on a stretcher, fighting the EMTs all the way.  She later told Channel 1 News from the hospital, "I had him, but the judge let him get away."  She was put into a medically induced coma to get her on the plane home.  Olympic officials insured Channel 1 News, that these two would meet again in four years, with no holds barred.  Channel 1 News will be there.

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