Friday, August 3, 2012


The Chinese Slap Champion getting
ready to take on the Russian Champion.
At breakfast she told her coach,
"I'm feeling slap happy!"
As reported last night, the Chinese Slap champion, Suzi Sling defeated the UK's Dunny Bumbs with a quick slap to his right cheek, catching Bumbs throwing a kiss to his girlfriend in the crowd.  His lip immediately puffed up and the officials stopped the round and declared Bumbs unable to continue.  Sling did a half back flip in celebration earning herself a warning from the judges. 
This morning she bound into the slapping arena, apparently fired up to take on the Russian champion Bustis Balsoff.  Channel 1 News learned that the two have been sending hate tweets to each other and were cautioned by Olympic officials that undignified and slanderous tweets could land them in the same boat as the Greek track star, expulsion from the games.  Both slappers were disciplined by their coaches by having their faces slapped.
Sling catches Balsoff by surprise with
a right hand to the face.
At 9 A.M. sharp the two met for the first time in the center slapping arena and locked eyes.  Balsoff looked like he was trying to hold back a drool, as he kept wiping the corner of his mouth with his shirt sleeve.  Sling squinted her eyes at him, sizing him up for a good slapping.  The international rules were given to them in eaches' native language.  Balsoff was swaying from foot to foot as Sling continued her beady stare.  At 9:01 the bell rang and the Russian Balsoff, gave Sling a surprise scissors slap to her cheeks, causing her eyes to snap shut.  But they were only shut for an instant.  She countered with a surprise of her own, literally slapping the smile off the Russian's face.  The Chinese in the crowd roared with approval. 
Channel 1 News covered the match until our deadline for transmitting this story arrived.  We will get you the results of this "blood" match as soon as the results are released.  Have a great day where ever you are reading this......Dave Taylor, Channel 1 News.

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