Friday, October 5, 2012

ROMNEY CONSIDERS HIMSELF A MASTERBATER

Romney, caught in the act.
After Wednesday nights debate, presidential hopeful Mitt Romney ran into the men's room and gave himself a big kiss in the mirror.  Governor Romney thought he was alone, but Channel 1 News's political reporter Pat McGroin was in one of the stalls and filed this report.
The sushi ripoff raw pork hocks I'd eaten had made me sick, and I had just finished vomiting when I heard what sounded like someone giggling come running into the men's room.  I peered out through a crack in the stall and saw a giddy Mitt Romney kissing himself in the mirror.  "Thank you, you silver tongued devil!" Romney told his image.
The perfect gift for the man
that has everything.  The one
on one debate room.
McGroin then let Romney know that he was not alone in the restroom to which Romney replied, "I know that, I knew that he'd be in here," smiling and pointing to his image in the mirror.  Romney then consented to an exclusive interview with Channel 1 News. As it turns out the former Massachusetts Governor has been rehearsing for the presidental debates for some time now.  "There's almost always a restroom somewhere on the campaign trail and I thought to myself, what better place to practice and rehearse my debating skills.  In fact the Mrs. gave me my own practice captual to take with me on the campaign trail." When asked to elaborate, he continued.  "I'm most comfortable debating myself, I almost never lose!  If fact I have become a master debater, you can tell the world I'm now a masterbater!"  He then took off his tie and suitcoat and asked to be alone with himself.  "I've got to start getting ready for the next debate."
Romney went on to tell Channel 1 News that if he loses the election he plans to become a debate coach teaching losers to how to become masterbaters.  When corrected on his choice of discriptive words, he laughed and replied, "they know what I mean."  Channel 1 News will be following the presidental race right up to the finish.

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