Channel 1 News learned early this morning that new attack ads will soon begin airing about of all people, Santa Claus! With the success of all the recent attack ads, Milken It Productions of Bridge Park was contacted by Karl Rove to produce a series of new ads in hopes of redirecting the public away from politics and his failed attempt to unseat the president.
|Santa Claus, can we |
really trust this guy?
"It's that time of year and if you're not worried, you should be. Santa Claus is coming you know. Santa Claus....what do really know about him? He wants you to believe he's a jolly old elf who will bring gifts and toys to your kids when the truth is, he's nothing but a fat sweaty old pervert. He says he watching to see who's naughty and nice when the truth is, he's just a peeping tom outside your window. When he tells your kids he wants them to be good, what does that twinkle in his eyes really mean? Why is his beard wet, could it be drool? The truth is America, we can't trust this guy. Santa Claus, just bad for America....tell Santa you've had enough, tell him to stay away from schools, tell him to stay home!"
Other ads are also in production directed at the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Channel 1 News will continue to keep you informed.