Thursday, November 1, 2012

UNDECIDED REPUBLICAN VOTERS TO GET HELP

According to the Romney camp, Mitt
Flush works in just 30 seconds and lasts
all day long.  It's like oil for the tongue.

As the election nears, undecided Republican voters may soon have the relief they crave.  Republican candidate Mitt Romney is cashing in on the situation and is having thousands of cases of his premium fast working brain laxative called Mitt Flush shipped in from his China based company.  His running mate Paul Ryan issued a press release just after midnight stating, "This is the private formula that Mitt uses to keep his mind open and his words flowing.  When Mitt uses Mitt Flush, his eyes roll back for an instant before his mind drains and he starts saying whatever anyone wants to hear, the words just roll off his tongue."  Channel 1 News was able to get a bottle of Mitt Flush and read the small print. "Warning: Only to be taken when dazed, confused, or when about to debate someone. Chew two tablets and you'll say anything and appear giddy."  The FDA has issued a warning about the laxative prompting Romney to promise to close and disband this government agency if elected.  Channel 1 News will follow this story right up to next Tuesday.

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