Thursday, March 14, 2013

LOCAL HOSPITAL EXPERIENCING CABIN FEVER EPIDEMIC

Beds are getting over crowded at Bridge
Port General Hospital
Bridge Port General Hospital has canceled all vacations and time off requests for its medical staff due to a huge surge in Cabin Fever patients. Hospital spokesperson Edna Wil told Channel 1 News all rooms are full in the 400 bed facility and patients are being forced to double up, putting two to a bed to help relieve the over crowding.  "Some patients are okay with this arrangement while others aren't" she said.   "Cabin Fever this year is as bad as I've seen it and when  this epidemic ends, we have to worry about Spring Fever taking its place."

A woman in the final stage of Cabin Fever
becoming addicted to Face book. This picture
depicts a woman that has been unfriended by
another Cabin Fever victim.
According to a bumper sticker, Cabin Fever is caused by prolonged winter weather keeping people indoors.  Wil was then asked about the symptoms to watch for, to which she replied, "Early symptoms begin with increased TV viewing of bad shows, which can then escalate to spending more and more time on a computer browsing the porn sites.  If no relief is rendered and the fever increases, people may find themselves becoming addicted to Face book and other social media sites.  It's not pretty when it gets that far."  When asked what the hospital will do when all the beds are filled with two people, Wil shrugged her shoulders and replied, "We're looking at double bunk beds next."
Spring is right around the corner which could mean a break in the cold and snowy weather.  This would bring a quick end to this current epidemic.  Hopefully Spring won't be too warm setting off a round of Spring Fever.  Our local doctors and nurses need a break.
Channel 1 News will keep you up to date on this story.

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