In what may be the most amazing discovery ever, workers at a demolition site in downtown Bridgeport have uncovered the well preserved mummified human remains of someone looking like the cartoon character Popeye the Sailor Man. Tests are being conducted on the body at Bridgeport General Hospital to verify the identity. Hospital staff are also looking at the red cap and pipe found with the remains. "If these remains turn out to be Popeye the Sailor Man" City Sewer Inspector Ludwig Flusher said to OFF THE WALL NEWS reporters, "They will prove he obviously once was a normal human being!"
|Popeye the Sailor Man? Tests|
are being conducted to verify the
identity of this man.
News of the discovery quickly spread across the news wire, captivating not only the scientific community, but the hundreds of thousands Popeye cartoon fans from around the world. Upon hearing the news, Chinese monk Singtu Mi Dong, ended a self imposed silence of twenty five years. With quivering and trembling lips he stood up before his brother monks and proclaimed, "I am to the finach cause I eats me spinach, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.." He then went on to serenade his fellow monks by whistling the Popeye theme song and has not stopped in over sixteen hours. The mood at the holy monastery has been turned upside down.
Scholars from Bridgeport University are preparing to hold a news conference if the remains do indeed prove to be those of the famous cartoon character. "If these remains turn out to be the real Popeye, we will immediately begin a search for Bluto and Olive Oil." Professor Theodore Cleaver told reporters. "Who knows what is really real now days?"
OFF THE WALL NEWS will continue to dig into this story.