Monday, July 1, 2013

MAN DIES WHILE SEEKING FREE COLLEGE TUITION

A Bridgeport man's family is suing a local college over his untimely death.  Last Tuesday Ben Gauzy, 20, answered an ad and applied for free tuition at Jack in the Stack College, a trendy upstart prep school for professional pan-cake flippers, he was dead by Saturday.  What happened between Tuesday and Saturday has his family dazed and confused.  They obtained  legal services from  the law firm of  Holdit, Tite, and Whippit, Goode.

"Ben had been looking to better himself since his last two jobs and dropping out of  high school before that," said his mother,
"He loved pan cakes, he would have been a natural."  She was consoled by her attorney Les Whippit  as they stood outside the local Bridgport eatery Pancake World, where young Gauzy had worked for the past six weeks.


Ben Gauzy before enrolling in
Jack in the Stack collage.  He
had plans to be a flippin' pro, his
mother told Dave Taylor.
According to bystanders, Gauzy was promised free tuition if he could pass a three day training period.  The first day he was grilled continuously on his knowledge of french toast, sausage, and pancakes.  That night he was required to mix from scratch, a 50 gallon batch of pancake mix, butcher a hog for sausage, and fold a hundred table cloths. At the end of that first day, three former Navy Seals dropped out of the class.
Day two began at dawn with Gauzy literally jumping through 100 hoops of various sizes while carrying a portable grill and wearing a backpack filled with 100 lbs of flour. Witnesses said Gauzy wasn't crazy about day two, but managed to make it through while four more dropped out, including a special forces instructor and a Hollywood stuntman.
Day three ended tragically as Gauzy failed a pop quiz about pancake spatulas and as punishment had to write "I like pancakes" on the wall 500,000 times.  It proved to be too much and young Ben Gauzy died from acute finger bleeding and exhaustion.  A wake was held Sunday at Pancake World where his boss and fellow staffers all paid tribute to Gauzy with a pancake eating contest.



Gauzy flipped out after writing  " I
Like Pancakes" 500,000 times. This  
picture was snapped just as Gauzy
snapped.
 
Channel 1 News offered Jack in the Stack College a chance to comment, but they declined due to future enrollment issues.





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