Sunday, August 25, 2013

CHUCK NORRIS DIED EARLY THIS MORNING BUT IS MUCH BETTER TONIGHT

Chuck Norris after learning he wasn't
really dead.
AFTER SPENDING MOST OF THE DAY DEAD, ACTOR SAYS HE WAS ONLY ACTING.

HOLLYWOOD, Ca.



In what could be called an Academy Award performance, famous actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris collapsed this morning and was pronounced dead by the county coroner.  It wasn't until late this afternoon that he surprised workers at the county morgue by hollering "Pune Tang!" and jumped off his slab in a karate crouch. 
Known for his acting ability, he told CHANNEL 1 NEWS he was rehearsing for an up coming action film.  "I like to totally immerse myself in my characters," he said. "The script called for my character to die and I guess I got so into character my heart stopped."

County Coroner Dr. Ho Lee MoLee was called to the corner of 12th and Vine St. at 9 A.M. where Norris had been found motionless.  "He had no pulse and was not moving. I declared him dead." Dr. MoLee said.  His body was moved to the morgue and was awaiting family to make arrangements.
After Norris awoke, he remembered that he was rehearsing for a part and thanked workers at the morgue for watching over him.  He promised a free acting lesson and a Total Gym machine to each of them.

Norris said he plans to carry a card in his wallet that reads "I'm not really dead, I am an actor," to ward off something like this happening again.  He wants his fans to know he is alive and doing well and not to send flowers.

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