Saturday, August 31, 2013

DROOLING IS THE NEW TWERKING THANKS TO MYLEY CYRUS

DROOLING HAS OVERTAKEN SEXTING AS A NEW GENERATION SENDS PICTURES OF THEMSELVES DROOLING

BRIDGEPORT, Mn.

"I've been sexting my drooling
to my chick and she loves it."
 BarryFunn told reporters.
Unless you've been in a coma these last few days, you've probably witnessed the latest craze to hit the streets since twerking.  "Everybody is doing it, even my granddad!" exclaimed an exited Barry Funn, 25, of Bridgeport.  "The front of my shirt acts as a bib, it's so frickin' cool!" 

Evin Stevens of the Bridgeport Center for Unpredictable Trends told CHANNEL 1 NEWS, "No one can explain this new phenomenon, but it is spreading faster than a rumor. It's not just for rock stars and derelicts any more. It has bridged the generation gap, gaining popularity with the older folks as well. The senior center in Lower Town had to start keeping a mop handy in the community room."


Les Funn, 79, once saw Jimmy Page
drool on stage and now is drooling him-
self as he strums "Stairway to Heaven"
on his Guitar Hero guitar.
No one is sure when this trend took hold, but many are saying it started during the Myley Cyrus twerking episode at last week's MTV VMAs.  Many in the audience began drooling openly and it quickly caught on as a nationwide television audience of  teenaged boys sat glued to their sets.  "I'm sure it was a spontaneous drooling event, coast to coast." added Stevens.


Test subject, Bobby N.drooled himself
to sleep and woke up cool and  refreshed.
Meanwhile at the Bridgeport Medical Research Clinic, research doctors are finding that drooling is very beneficial for sleepers with cotton or dry mouth.  "We just may have found something here!"  explained Dr. Didja Doet.  "When we injected  test mice with a drool inhibitor, the little critters slept better in their tiny pools of drool and woke up chasing their tails.  This might be the break through we've been looking for."
Two human trials have been started to see if drooling helps or hinders sleep.  Initial findings are showing that a person not only sleeps better, but remains cooler because of the drool dampened pillow.   More tests are needed to see if cotton mouth can be cured.

CHANNEL 1 NEWS has copyrighted this story and will follow it until the next fad takes it's place.  As for Myley Cyrus, she was last seen soaking up her boyfriend's drool with a #1 foam finger.




 

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