Sunday, September 8, 2013

POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP FINALS TO BE HELD IN BRIDGEPORT

AFTER TEN DAYS OF LATE NIGHT MEETINGS IN LAS VEGAS, MAYOR NEGOTIATES AND LANDS WHAT HE IS  CALLING "THE BIG ONE!"  HE PROMISES THE UPCOMING HOLIDAYS WILL BE VERY VERY MOVING... 

BRIDGEPORT, Mn.



Mayor Ben Dover was all "thumbs up"
to busing in pole dancers.
Mayor Ben Dover announced today he has secured the rights to have Bridgeport host the 2013 Amateur Pole Dancing Championships.  The two day event will take place on December 30 & 31 in the newly remodeled Firehouse Lounge and Bowling Alley, with the winner  being crowned at midnight on New Years Eve.
 The Mayor, speaking at a breakfast meeting this morning, told the small crowd gathered to protest his corrupt administration and wasteful spending, the Pole Dancing event will bring much needed revenue to the city as well as bus loads of Pole dancers.  


These are the type of Pole dancers
Mayor Dover had hoped to bring to Bridgeport.
In the crowd, Mayor Dover's harshest critic, City Attorney Pat McGroin was quick to point out the bus loads of dancers were not Polish dancers, as the Mayor would have us believe.  "No, these are female pole dancers from bars and strip clubs across the country.  Bridgeport will be a hotbed of lust and lewdness!" he cried, causing many older ladies in the crowd to shake their fists.  The Mayor was then hurriedly escorted out a rear door to his waiting limo.  
CHANNEL 1 NEWS caught up to the Mayor later as he played a morning round of golf.  "I can understand my critic's anger," he said as he sunk a putt on green three.  "I was led to believe the Polish citizens of our country held a huge Polka fest each year and I thought why not try to steer it to Bridgeport.  I mean, who has more fun than Poles dancing?  If I'd known it was pole dancing  like you know, strippers with a fireman's pole, I would have walked away."

Champion Pole Dancer Suzy
Silickski is excited to attend
Bridgeport's tournament. She is
a Polish pole dancer from Chicago.
 

Asked how much bringing this event to Bridgeport would cost, the Mayor shrugged and said the figures hadn't been tallied yet.  Meanwhile at City Hall, City Attorney McGroin promised to draw up papers that would undo the Mayor's commitment to the Pole Dancers of America or PDA. "Bringing strippers into our newly remodeled firehouse to use the new poles would be a travesty," he said shaking his head.  "Turning it into a bar and bowling alley was one thing, but this takes it too far!"
The upcoming city meeting is sure to lead to a further spilt in city government.
CHANNEL 1 NEWS will be there from gavel to gavel.








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