Monday, November 4, 2013

RARE DISEASE SCHWARTZENSPEAK IS THE TALK OF THE TOWN!

DOCTORS AT A LOCAL HOSPITAL BAFFLED, SAYING MORE TESTING IS NEEDED TO RULE OUT ARNOLD IMPERSONATORS

BRIDGEPORT, MN.


Dr. Shitzeen Giggils M.D
"I'm not a man, dammit!"
A newly discovered disease which attacks the vocal cords, has been named Schwartzenspeak for the way those stricken take on the accent of famous movie actor and former California governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Visiting medical researcher Dr. Shitzeen Giggils of the Struggling for Better Health Clinic or SBHC as it's called, arrived in town on Saturday to interview the latest cases to come down with the disease.  "The rate of rare diseases is increasing." she said in a statement to local radio station KIDG.  Dr. Giggils, who herself was stricken with the disease at an early age, has dedicated her practice to finding a cure. "I know wot it is like to have yur speech joeked about behind yur back.  I even get mistaken for Arnold sometime an I'm not a man, dammit!"
As of last count, 22 people in Bridgeport have been diagnosed with Schwartzenspeak.  The youngest being 15 and the oldest 89.  Doctors aren't sure just yet how the disease is spread.    It was first thought to be spread mouth to mouth, but that was quickly ruled out when two cases who claimed they caught it over the phone, were confirmed.
CHANNEL 1 NEWS will continue to follow this story and report any breakthroughs in this strange and up to now, rare disease.

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