Thursday, January 30, 2014

LOCAL COMPANY WILL AIR COMMERCIAL DURING SUPER BOWL

A BRIDGEPORT SALES EXECUTIVE LEARNED MONDAY HE HAD WON A LOTTERY FOR A COVETED 30 SECOND TV COMMERCIAL SPOT FOR HIS COMPANY IN SUNDAY'S SUPERBOWL.  SKANK SOLUTIONS, MAKERS OF A LOW GRADE BUT COLORFUL FORMALDEHYDE, HOPES TO SEE IT'S BUSINESS SHARE DOUBLE

BRIDGEPORT
Ferrin Wormer in his
company photo ID
picture.

Ferrin Wormer, 24, of Bridgeport is getting his fifteen minutes of fame around the office at Skank Solutions located in the industrial park off Broadway.  His entry into a television commercial lottery, won his company a coveted 30 TV commercial spot in Sunday's Superbowl between Denver and Seattle.  He hopes to be chosen to star in the commercial now being produced by a cable TV channel.  
In an interview with CHANNEL 1 NEWS, he paid tribute to his mother.  "I really owe all this to my mom, Charletta.  I still live at home and she was the one that saw the lottery contest in the Enquirer. She told me I may as well enter, I did, and I gave her a big back rub after I won."
Wormer graduated from Bridgeport Tech in 2012 and worked the night shift at the city sanitation department for 18 months before landing a sales job at Skank Solutions selling formaldehyde. He also is a volunteer sperm donor at four different clinics.

 Skank Solutions didn't believe Wormer at first when Wormer announced his winning the lottery.  He was given his own office chair and had his picture taken, which will be on the new labels for the formaldehyde.  A sneak peak at the commercial itself, shows a table with white tablecloth and a dead baby pig in a gallon jar filled with Skank's new aqua-blue colored formaldehyde. The music playing in the background is Chris Issac's song, "Forever Blue".  An actor enters, sits at the table, and says to the camera, "Forever is a long time, preserve your memories in blue, blue formaldehyde from Skank Solutions."  Wormer hopes to land the spot as the actor in the commercial and hopes it's only the beginning of a new acting career. He says he sees the red carpet in his future.

CHANNEL 1 NEWS looks forward to watching this commercial on Sunday and will follow this story and report any updates.


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

THE LANGUAGE BARRIER AT THE SOCHI WINTER GAMES IS COMING DOWN

A RUSSIAN TRANSLATOR HIRED BY CHANNEL 1 NEWS'S DAVE TAYLOR HAS ALLOWED TAYLOR TO OPEN DOORS AND GO WHERE NO NEWSMAN HAS GONE BEFORE.  

SOCHI, RUSSIA

Five days ago Dave Taylor stood on a street corner fifteen miles from his desired destination after asking a local resident  for directions.  Somehow the true directions were lost in translation, sending Taylor and his team into an unsafe section of the city.  As fate would have it however, it was in a small drinking establishment in this part of the city that Taylor met Bjorn Turok, an out of work English teacher and translator.  Turok recognized Taylor from old CHANNEL 1 NEWS stories he had used to teach English to his students and came up and introduced himself.  A friendship was made and Turok became the official translator for Dave Taylor.

Young Russian translator Bjorn Turok and
Dave Taylor understand each other.

Turok, 36, and his wife Lova, allowed Taylor and his team to spend the night in their small apartment above the bar. The next morning they all were on their way back to Taylor's hotel suite at the Королевский гусиного яйца.  Upon arrival, Turok translated the hotel's name for Taylor who immediately laughed out loud.  "It gives new meaning to getting laid!"  Taylor said looking up at the hotel name on the building and then quickly added, "Don't print that."

On Tuesday Taylor and his translator were back inside the Olympic village where athletes from around the world were keeping themselves preoccupied from the constant security alerts,  by holding  a blind taste test contest.  When Taylor arrived, two Japanese athletes were blindfolded and being fed chicken.  After both had tasted the white chicken meat, they were asked to give their answer.  They answered simultaneously, "Dat taste jus like flog legs!"  The two would not believe it wasn't frog legs until the chicken was brought out for another taste.
Dave Taylor won a blue ribbon at
the Olympic Taste Testing contest.
Taylor and is team entered this contest which went on for hours, ending with different liquors being tasted instead of  food.  Taylor and his team were back in their rooms before dawn after winning two red and a blue ribbon.

Dave Taylor will be sending more reports from Sochi, keeping everyone on top of the news.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

LOCAL WEATHERMAN ATTACKED AFTER FORECASTING MORE COLD AND SNOW

LOCAL WEATHERMAN "BIG" BURLE BRADSTREET PAID THE PRICE SUNDAY NIGHT AFTER FORECASTING THREE MORE DAYS IN THE DEEP FREEZE FOR THE BRIDGEPORT AREA

BRIDGEPORT


Burle Bradstreet after confronting
a mob of weather protesters and
his wife.
"Big" Burle Bradstreet, local weatherman on radio station KOLD -20FM left work Sunday evening and walked into what other weather forecasters are calling a perfect storm.  While walking to his car a van pulled up and 6 to 8 attackers got out and confronted him, demanding warmer weather.  When he said he couldn't do that, they began pelting him with snow balls and chunks of ice.  He managed to flee down an alley and get away, but this wasn't the end to his torment.  As he raced home on foot, he entered his house through the back door and because of his battered face his wife thought he was an intruder. She began hitting him about the face with a wooden club until she realized her mistake and dialed 911.

Bradstreet, was treated and spent the night at Bridgeport General Hospital where he sipped lemonade through swollen lips.  By noon Monday the swelling in his eyes had gone down enough that he could once again see. His wife was there as was CHANNEL 1 NEWS, who was able to get this exclusive story.  "This is ironic," Bradstreet said.  "This kind of thing happened to me two years ago when I worked in Phoenix at KHOT 110 FM and had forecast a  heat wave.  Listeners came after me throwing sand in my eyes and pelting me with grapefruit.  I am seriously thinking of switching occupations."  When asked what field he would feel safe in he replied, "Alligator wrestling, at least I'd know what to expect."  His wife said she'd support that decision.

Police are looking for Bradstreet's attackers, while  radio station KOLD -20FM is putting up a $100 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the perpetrators. "These attacks must stop!" said radio station manager, Yoletta Fartay.  "We only report the weather, not make it up,
and people need to realize that."   CHANNEL 1 NEWS will follow this story until warmer weather.

Raz Dazzle, reporting for Dave Taylor.



Saturday, January 25, 2014

FIRST CASE OF CABIN FEVER REPORTED FOR 2014

MAN NEARLY FREEZES TO DEATH IN BACKYARD TRYING TO GET A SUNTAN. DOCTORS SUSPECT CABIN FEVER IS BEHIND HIS BEHAVIOR, SPARKING THE FEAR OF A NEW CABIN FEVER EPIDEMIC!  CITIZENS ARE ASKED TO REMAIN CALM.

BRIDGEPORT

Eddie Dunkerton of Bridgeport succumed to severe cabin fever
and decided to get a sun tan on Friday.  Luckily his wife found
him and called 911. 
A Bridgeport man is lucky to be alive this morning after his wife discovered him sun bathing yesterday in 2 degree weather.  Eddie Dunkerton, 48, a Bridgeport tap dance instructor, reportedly snapped yesterday after looking at a calendar and realizing it was only the 24th of January. His wife said the weather forecast came on the radio forecasting more cold weather just as he was staring at the calendar.  "He looked up at me with vacant eyes," she told CHANNEL 1 NEWS, "I thought he wanted to be alone so I left the room to take nap."

Doctors say Dunkerton snapped shortly after that,   stripped down, grabbed the suntan lotion, and ran out into his backyard.  Although this sort of action is a bit extreme, doctors at Bridgeport General say it is not unheard of, especially dealing with cabin fever.  "This could be an isolated case or the beginning of a cabin fever epidemic." Dr. Oma Godd wrote on a blackboard in the hospital break room and then told a colleague, "The good news about Mr. Dunkerton though, is he had the sense to use sun screen and did not burn."

Last year Bridgeport General Hospital treated 203 cases of cabin fever, forcing the opening of a special wing of hospital rooms with rubber walls.  Anyone is susceptible and some of the symptoms to watch out for are unnecessary idle whistling, kicking chairs or the wall, and putting objects in your ears. Anyone doing all three at the same time should be rushed to the ER.  If this is indeed the beginning of another cabin fever epidemic, Bridgeport General will be in consultation with Dr. Dwight Puntanger of the State Corrections Department who has extensive experience treating inmates with acute cabin fever.

CHANNEL 1 NEWS will keep you updated on this story as well as the Winter Olympics news, where Dave Taylor is embedded.

Friday, January 24, 2014

THE USA OFFICIAL OLYMPIC UNIFORMS AREN'T JUST FOR THE ATHELETES

IN A SURPRISE MOVE THE U.S. OLYMPIC COMMITTEE GIVES DAVE TAYLOR HIS OWN UNIFORM TO WEAR WHILE REPORTING IN SOCHI

SOCHI, RUSSIA

Dave Taylor in his Olympic outfit.
CHANNEL 1 NEW'S Dave Taylor was singled out to be the only U.S. news reporter to wear the "colors" of the USA Olympic team.
"It's ugly, but warm."  Taylor said in a candid interview with the British news source, CANDID NEWS, "All the athletes in the village, think I'm there to compete, which really helps me get the behind the scene stories."  He went on to say grinning, "the pants are a little tight, but the price was right".

On Wednesday Taylor was allowed access to the bob sled practice run and talked with the Chinese bob sled team.  He learned the Chinese team practice by pushing their sled up the run from the bottom. It makes coming back down that much more fun, he was told.  

The Chinese are late entrants to this event because of the language barrier.  The interpreter mistakenly added an "o" to Bob, making it a Boob sled. Fearing they would have to take females from the ice skating team, they declined entering the event at first. Once the mistake was remedied, papers were filed and their team is quickly getting up to speed.

Taylor reported Tuesday that security was tight and he felt safe during the daylight hours.  During the nighttime, he stays close to the hotel, where the disco is open until the wee hours.  If Taylor is not in his room filing a report, he's easy to spot making the rounds of the dance club wearing his new "duds".

Watch here for updates as they come in from Sochi. 

 

Monday, January 20, 2014

UNREST ON THE STREETS OF SOCHI AS THE OLYMPICS NEAR, SECURITY ON HIGH ALERT

DAVE TAYLOR SAFE AND SOUND IN SOCHI AFTER ADDITION OF "BAND OF BROTHERS" BODYGUARD TEAM

SOCHI, RUSSIA
Dave Taylor (L) poses with his bodyguards in
Sochi, Russia. Taylor met the Badasski brothers,
professional bodyguards, in the Sochi jail.

CHANNEL 1 NEWS'S Dave Taylor spent the last few days in his hotel room after the state run news in Sochi reported unsavory characters lurking about the Olympic village and streets of Sochi.  Taylor himself was stopped and detained by the special police force after being drawn into a snowball fight with the Scandinavian Womens Ski Team on Friday night. 
Taylor reported that late Friday night as he left the Polar Bear Lounge, where he was interviewing future athletes, he heard women screaming down the street.  Fearing they were in danger he approached to see if he could help and was pummeled with snow balls.  Laughter followed and he immediately joined the rukus.  He said the police soon swarmed in and snowballers scattered, leaving him there on his knees with a grin on his face. 
It took him until early Sunday morning to identify himself after losing his credentials in the snowball fight.  He spent Friday and Saturday night in a Sochi jail cell.  It was there he learned of the dangers lurking about the area and that someone as well known as he, should have at least one body guard.
Taylor was fortunate to meet the four Badasski brothers in his cell block, professional bodyguards looking for work at the Sochi Olympics.  One of the brothers, spoke a little English and befriended Taylor, setting up the body guard work agreement.  Taylor, with new credentials obtained from the American consulate in Sochi, was released from jail and immediately arranged bail for the Badasskis.
"I'm safe to roam the streets now" a happy Taylor wrote in a text to his home office.  "These young hunks can be brutal if need be."
CHANNEL 1 NEWS will continue these reports from Sochi, up to and throughout the Winter Olympics.




Thursday, January 16, 2014

SOCHI OLYMPIC WORKERS HOPE TO SET WORLD BEER GUZZLING RECORD

AT THE END OF THE DAY, TWO OLYMPIC WORKERS HOPE TO MAKE HISTORY OF THEIR OWN, DRINKING THE GOLD.....

SOCHI, RUSSIA

Jockoff Rutknik and Bladimir Imnutsky hope to set their
own world record inside the bar in olympic village.
Just as they had hoped, two down and out Russian young men landed jobs working at this year's Winter Olympics. Because of their expertise in making ice for ice skating rinks, these two twenty something year old men were selected from thousands of applicants.
By chance, Dave Taylor met the two at the Hole in the Berlin Wall, a small drinking establishment in Sochi. In a country where vodka is the preferred beverage, Taylor was surprised to see these two drinking down large schooners of beer as quickly as the bar tender could refill them.

Taylor arrived in Sochi on Tuesday as part of the advance team that will be reporting stories from the Olympics.  Not able to speak or  understand the Russian language, Taylor knew the best best place to break through the language barrier would be a tavern or bar.  Using this logic he was able to meet the two young Russian beer drinkers named Jockoff Rutknik and Bladimir Imnutsky.

The two had become crowd pleasers to the drinking locals, who kept cheering them on and buying them rounds of beer, while making bets as to which one would fall off the stool first.   When Taylor approached the two, they both smiled and speaking in broken English declared, "Hey look, it's that big news guy from America!  We be famous now!"  They ordered a beer for Taylor and he was then able to get this story for CHANNEL 1 NEWS.

Rutknik and Imnutsky  are from a  village in the Ukraine and became best friends after their wives divorced them two years ago.  In a strange set of circumstances, the two ended up marrying each others former wife.  "In American, the name for us is buddies!" Imnutsky said laughing while patting Rutknik on the back.  "There are none secrets between we two."  

The two work at an out door ice skating rink in their village and excel at ice making.  When Sochi landed the 2014 Winter Olympics, Rutknik and Imnutsky knew it would be their year to shine.  They left their wives at home and headed for Sochi.  Now as they ready themselves to start making ice, they are also preparing themselves to "go for the gold," as in beer drinking.  Dave Taylor will follow these two and their story as time permits.  "It's gonna be fun!"  exclaimed Taylor by cell phone,  "These guys are for real!"

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

CHANNEL 1 NEWS LOOKS AHEAD TO 2014

2013 WAS A GOOD YEAR FOR CHANNEL 1 NEWS, BUT LOOKING AHEAD TO THE SOCHI WINTER OLYMPICS, HAS DAVE TAYLOR SALIVATING....

 BRIDGEPORT

 Here are just a few of the stories Dave Taylor and his crack team of reporters are looking forward to in February:      SOCHI WINTER OLYMPICS

           
A last ditch effort is made to avoid
the fence before crashing.


"Winter Olympics Finishes", the stories the big networks don't report on.  You'll see what goes on at the bottom of the ski hill, interviews with the losers and the grounds crew members.  You'll watch as broken bones are set and splinted by EMTs as well as how bruised egos are tended to. You'll be taken behind the scenes like never before.

"Bob Sledding Stories"  The real story behind the naming of sleds, a who's who of sleds.  Before Bob, there was the Bruce Sled, JoHan, Janis, and the Martha Sled. We'll also get a peek inside the sled museum, where the Jimi Hendrix sled is on display.  Shaped like a guitar, it can "hum" across the snow.

This skater attempts a Cherry Flip, but ends
up doing a Cherry Bomb.
"Ice Skating Follies"  You'll see more people on their asses then previously thought possible.  The big networks try to keep these accidents hush hush by limiting the viewing footage, but CHANNEL 1 NEWS will expose the sport in all it's frankness.  You'll get to see the falls in slow motion replays, including the surprised expressions on their faces.  It's not pretty, but it's real.


"Snow Fort Building", new this year in Sochi, snow fort builders will contend for the cold if not the gold.  To help cut down on the snow ball throwing at spectators, the snow fort will be very popular this year.  Although this event won't be covered by the national networks, CHANNEL 1 NEWS will be devoting 27 hours of coverage to this new sport.  Critics are saying the Scandinavian countries will have the edge, many of the entrants are from the rain forest jungle countries and will be wearing winter boots for the first time.

CHANNEL 1 NEWS is looking forward to exposing Sochi without all the hoopla.  If you are not interested in all that sports competition, you'll want to get your news right here.  All the news the big networks miss, is right here.  See you soon from Sochi! -- Dave Taylor.
Here is a design being studied by the
Belgian Congo Team.





 











Wednesday, January 1, 2014

MAN WHO TAUGHT HIMSELF TO WHISTLE UNABLE TO STOP

DOCTORS ARE UNABLE TO EXPLAIN WHY LOCAL MAN'S FACE AND LIPS HAVE FROZEN INTO A PERMANENT WHISTLER'S PUCKER.  HE IS BEING FED THROUGH A STRAW.

BRIDGEPORT

Kareem Pushown here
whistling at the doctor's
office on Monday.
Kareem Puffa, 25, a non whistler, started teaching himself to whistle last Sunday after betting friends that he could teach himself in two days and then whistle Tchaikovsky's Scherzo with his eyes open, while at a New Year's eve party.
Puffa locked himself in a closet and began teaching himself the fundamentals of whistling.  By Sunday night however, it became apparent that his face had become paralyzed at the exact moment he began to whistle.  When he was unable to relax his lips and face, he panicked and ran for the room his wife was watching TV in.  She thought he wanted to play kiss tag and ran from him, keeping him at bay.
Finally after catching up to his wife down the street, he was able to convey his facial problem to her.  At first she didn't believe him, but after she realized he couldn't talk and could only whistle, she followed him back to their home.  She told CHANNEL 1 NEWS that as a test, she asked him to whistle requested songs, which he did until long after midnight.  By then his jaws were sore and his lips were cracked and dry. Monday morning they walked into Bridgeport General seeking relief after Puffa had whistled non stop all night, Billboards top 100 songs.  Try as he may, he was unable to stop whistling.
Doctors have put Puffa in an induced coma until a remedy can be found for what ails him.  "If all else fails" his wife said, "he can learn to tap dance."
CHANNEL 1 NEWS promises not to miss a beat of this story in the coming days and weeks.