Wednesday, March 5, 2014

DELAYED FISH STICK SEASON OPENER CAUSES PROBLEMS FOR LENT

DUE TO THE THICK ICE, THE FISH STICK FISHING INDUSTRY WAS FORCED TO CANCEL OPENING DAY OF THIS YEAR'S FISH STICK SEASON PUTTING LENT IN JEOPARDY

BRIDGEPORT

Capt. Syphilis Bluebird feels
badly for the Fish Sticks.
The unusual cold weather this winter, continues to cause havoc in the area. Fourteen fishing trawlers based on Lake Bridgeport will remain idle a while longer it seems.  On this, the normal start of Fish Stick season, fisherman learned opening day will now be no sooner than April 1.  The reason being the ice on the lake is too thick.  Making matters worse, dead fish sticks can be seen frozen in the ice.
Captain Syphilis Bluebird of the fishing vessel "Shiver Me Timber" told CHANNEL 1 NEWS, "I hate what this damn ice is doing to me ship, but it's the poor Fish Sticks that is sufferin' most, the fish and of course my crew.  An idle crew is worse than a Chinese fire drill."  When asked to explain, he said, "You know, nobody knows what to do."

Church pews emptied as parishioners heard the news of a
Fish Stick shortage in Bridgeport.  Grocery stores became jammed.
The other problem facing the masses is that fish is in high demand during Lent, which started today.  Immediately after the Fish Stick season opener cancellation was announced at this morning's mass, the church emptied and the grocery stores and fish markets in Bridgeport became swamped.

Fish Sticks first became popular in the 1950s when they were discovered in the icy waters of  Lake Bridgeport.  Some species of fish inner breed, but somehow Fish Sticks self-bread themselves, making them a quick and easy meal to prepare.  Their popularity has spread world wide and they are now a huge favorite in Alabama.
CHANNEL 1 NEWS will continue to watch the conditions of the ice and report and changes.

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