Saturday, April 26, 2014

FORMER DOLL BARBIE IS DOGGING IT UP IN RETIREMENT!

AFTER DIVORCING KEN TWICE,  EXPLORING LESBIAN LIKE URGES, NUMEROUS WEIGHT LOSS DIETS, AND  PLAYBOY'S CENTERFOLD REJECTION BEHIND HER, BARBIE IS TURNING 50 WITHOUT REGRETS AND LOOKS FORWARD TO FINDING THE PERFECT HOT DOG EATING EXPERIENCE


BRIDGEPORT

Barbie was in Bridgeport looking for the perfect tasting hot dog.
The worlds most famous doll, Barbie, is turning 50 this year and has opted for early retirement.   While her former likeness can still be found on store shelves world wide, her petite and youthful features frozen in time, the living, breathing person the doll was modeled after, was in Bridgeport over the weekend searching for the perfect hot dog.

"I'm having the time of my life!" she told a waiter at Bong's Hot Dog Emporium in Bridgeport. "Deep down, I've always wanted to be 50, I've always wanted to be 50 and be able to gorge myself on hot dogs!"
Barbie and her entourage of a facial make up artist,a stunt double, and her personal chef  arrived in town Friday night and were spotted at a brat feed where Barbie was signing autographs. Since retiring, earlier this year Barbie came out of the hot dog closet and confessed on live TV that she is consuming up to a dozen and a half dogs every two days.  "Maybe its the nitrates, I don't know," she told OFF THE WALL news, "but give me a plumper with all the fixings and I'll show you how to bark!"  She admits, she hasn't found the perfect hot dog yet, but she's close.  When not eating hot dogs, she spends her waking hours lying in bed resting up.
Tuesday she is headlining a bratwurst eating contest in Chicago.  OFF THE WALL news will be there to the last bite.

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