Tuesday, April 21, 2015

MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT BAFFLED OVER WOMAN'S STRANGE CONDITION

WOMAN CHEWS FRONTWARDS AND BACKWARDS, PULVERIZING HER FOOD.  LOCAL  DENTIST TO STUDY HER MOUTH IN DEPTH

BELL TOWER, MN.

Rene Ener and her "grinders"
Rene Ener, 34, of Bell Tower was 25 when she grew an extra set of teeth and a month later began to chew backwards as well as frontwards.  She first amazed her boyfriend by eating an ear of sweet corn in less than four seconds, cob and all. 
Once a  professional yodeler, Ener had to give it up once the new teeth arrived.  "All the yodel sounds came out backwards," she told OFF THE WALL news anchor Dave Taylor.  "I was fired from my yodeling job at the Friday Night Opery and began making a living eating buckets of fried chicken at a local KFC.
Dr. Kurt Truk of the Deep Mouth Clinic outside of Bell Tower explained how her mouth worked, allowing her to chew backwards.  "Clinically its impossible to chew backwards, but Ms. Ener, like a snake, somehow tricks her jaws into slipping sideways as she chews.  The extra teeth help grind the food, liquifying it. 
Currently Ener is making a living at McDonalds dressed as Ronald McDonald.  Twice an evening she eats a dozen Big Macs in under 30 seconds.  "Some jobs are fulfilling," she said.  " Mine is just filling."
Various tooth paste companies are vying to sign her to an advertising contract, but she is in no hurry to have a picture of her "grinder" on a toothpaste tube.  Monday she leaves for Des Moines and the 15th annual Master Hot Dog Eating Contest.  Until then she is under the care of a throat specialist trying to get her yodel back.

OFF THE WALL news will be at the hot dog eating contest to cover the competition until the last dog is gone!


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