Monday, August 17, 2015

TRUMPS LOVE FOR IOWA SCRUTINIZED IN TAYLOR INTERVIEW

REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFUL TRUMP MEETS WITH OFF THE WALL NEWS' DAVE TAYLOR AND DISCUSSES HIS HAIR, CHINA, AND OTHER THINGS, IN ONE ON ONE INTERVIEW

This is part II of an exclusive report filed by Senior editor and OFF THE WALL NEWS anchor, Dave Taylor of his private interview with Donald Trump.  The interview took place in Trump's limo while traveling back roads in Iowa.  The conversation was casual, yet sometimes tense.  As a word of caution, the language is "colorful" in some areas and children should not be allowed to read it.  This interview is copyrighted and no portion of it may be memorized or copied for re-distributation. 

SOMEWHERE IN IOWA

As we left the airstrip in Trump's limo, I removed my Kim Jong Un hair piece and gave it to my host, the Donald.  He promptly opened a compartment door on the floor of the limo and put the hair piece in with what looked like at least four or five other wigs.
"You know," he said.  "I want you to know I like wigs.  I really do. And there are some that I like more than others.  The Kim Jong Un wig will come in handy when I speak to the North Korean USO troop next month.  Thank you for giving it to me.  And I really mean that."
Trump and Taylor on Colo, IA Main Street

Trump was silent for a minute and I took the opportunity to begin my questioning. "I'd like to ask you a few questions, Mr. Trump." 
"Of course, please do, but call me Donald.  I like being called Donald.  It fits who I am.  And its my name. Some might dispute that, but they don't know what they're talking about.  I can prove to you I am Donald Trump.

I assured him I believed him and continued.  "Thanks Donald.  You recently told a group of key mainstream reporters, you looked upon women as second class animals. Do you really believe that?  Trump slammed his fist into his open hand before turning to face me.
"Dave, and I hope you don't mind me calling you that, not that it matters, but I'm glad you asked me that question. It gives me a chance to clarify what I said.  And I like to clarify, so don't report otherwise.  What I really said, and they, those bimbo reporters got it wrong, very wrong, I said that when I was in second grade, my teacher's name was Mrs. Kow.  If I remember correctly, and I always do, her assistant's name was Miss Hog. Two terrifically talented women, one a little over weight, but with good cheek bones."  He used his hand to pat on his cheek. "The younger one, could have and should have been in Playboy, really nice in all the right places."  He closed his eyes and smiled before continuing. "The press got it completely wrong or else it was  deliberately orchestrated by Fox news and the Koch brothers, so as to discredit me. What assholes they are! I love women.  My own mother was a woman for Christs sake!"  His face was bright red by now. " I can prove that!"

I let Trump cool down before asking the next question.  "Who does your hair?"  The question caught him off guard and his face became sullen.   "Were you sent here by the Koch brothers?  Questions like that are, and I want to be clear, off base."   I assured him I was here as his invited guest and had no affiliation what so ever with Charles or David Koch.  "Your hair is who you are, Donald and people everywhere are mystified with how it hangs out over your forehead."
Trump looked me directly in the eye and said. "Some things in the universe have been and always will be a mystery. Next question."

"Let's talk about China then," I said.  Looking out the window of the limo, I realized we had been driving for a long while now.  "Yes, let's do," Trump replied.  "I like China, they don't like me, but screw them or would you rather I talk bluntly about China?"
I wasn't sure if this was an attempt by Trump at humor or not so I just nodded my head and continued.  "You've said China is really a new America with a hard on.  What do you mean by that?"
"I think it's obvious Dave, they have been playing us, stealing all our secrets, and selling them back to us. They are using the means that made our country great and putting their own rules in place. They view us as a drunken whore with whom they can have their way with.  It's time to bust their balls, if you know what I mean and make no mistake about it, I can do it?"
Trump's vision of China's new flag
"How?"  I asked.    "I'm not ready to say.  This limo may be bugged and I don't want to tip my hand.  I've been told the Chinese government has redesigned their flag and plan to deploy it in the near future."

Pressing Trump for more information proved fruitless.  The limo slowed down to make a turn.  "Where are we headed?" I asked.
Trump replied with a question. "Have you ever been to Marathon, Iowa?"    (To be continued)

The final installment of Taylor's interview with Donald Trump will appear in the next issue of OFF THE WALL NEWS.

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