Friday, October 2, 2015

OFF THE WALL NEWS DECLINES PRESTIGIOUS NEWS REPORTING AWARD

NOT TO BE INFLUENCED BY MAIN STREAM NEWS ORGANIZATIONS, OFF THE WALL NEWS REFUSED ON THURSDAY, TO ACCEPT THE PEABODY ROYAL DEFECATE AWARD FOR NEWS REPORTING.  DAVE TAYLOR WAS ON HAND TO REFUSE THE AWARD

BRIDGEPORT

Royal Defecate Award
Twenty six times each year the International News Association gathers in one place or another to shower the top news reporting organizations with trophies and awards. The I.N.A., second only to the Country Music Awards (televised each time an artist releases a new record), met in Bridgeport to bestow honors on OFF THE WALL NEWS.  Much to the dismay of the I.N.A. Dave Taylor took to the podium, thanked his peers, and then refused the honor and coveted Royal Defecate Award.  "From the bottom of my heart, thank you, but no thanks" Taylor told a shocked and silent crowd, " We here at OTWN can not receive awards for what we report.  Our reporting is for the good of our readers and we cannot allow ourselves to be influenced by the national news media."

Dave Taylor at podium declining award
Earlier in the day, in a flurry of last minute voting, OFF THE WALL NEWS received all thirty six votes and top prize for last year's breaking story about how some in the pizza industry are vilifying themselves by cutting pizza into square pieces instead of the traditional pie shape. 

OFF THE WALL NEWS declines trophies and awards each month from various news seeking organizations.  The Glue Sniffers of America invited Dave Taylor to speak at their annual convention in Des Moines last month. "Only when we become sleazy, will we accept awards" Taylor told the group of glue sniffers. "We want our news to be unbiased, open, and well, off the wall.  That's what you'll get if you stick with us!" 
He did accept a bottle of glue however, as a parting gift.


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