Thursday, November 5, 2015

MAN WITH TWO LEFT FEET IS OUT OF STEP WITH THE WORLD

LOCAL MAN'S DREAM OF BECOMING A PROFESSIONAL PARADE MARCHER IS QUICKLY FADING AS HE JUST CAN'T GET IT RIGHT...

BRIDGEPORT


Hardy Harr's two left feet
Hardy Harr, 27, of Bridgeport feels like he's been kicked in the teeth.  "All I've ever wanted to do is march in a marching band," Harr told OFF THE WALL news reporter Dave Taylor. "But I just can't keep in step due to the fact I have two left feet, I can't hide it anymore."
This is the has been an emotional roller coaster for Harr.  On Monday of last week, Harr's wife of three months left him after learning of his left footish ways.  "She just kept telling me, it's not right, it's not right!" Harr said.  "Then she packed up her Nikes and left me."
All this took place after he was outed from his position as lead drum major for the Bridgeport Marching Madmen, the professional marching band that hopes to march in this years Thanksgiving Day parade.  OFF THE WALL news contacted the headquarters for the Marching Madmen and was told that Harr was relieved of his duties after constantly leading the band into the oncoming lane of traffic.  When they learned of his two left feet, he was drummed out of the band.

Harr had hoped to overcome his left footedness when he joined the Marching Madmen in 2014.  He quickly impressed the leaders of the Madmen by always starting out using his left foot.  Little did they know that he could't get it wrong.  In the end Harr couldn't stop from leaning left, drawing the entire group into lane of oncoming traffic..
As of this writing, Harr has committed himself to learning to polka barefooted.  "I want everyone to see my feet before making judgement."  he remarked as the sound of a tuba rump bump bumped in the back round.  "If this don't work, I'm going to become a left footed field goal kicker."

OFF THE WALL news will be watching this story for our readers and report any updates.