Thursday, December 31, 2015

SURVEY FINDS MOST STORIES REPORTED BY O.T.W.N. OVER THE TOP FOR MOST READERS

THE O.T.W. NEWS ORGANIZATION HAS BEEN ASKED TO BECOME MORE "MIDDLE OF THE ROAD" AND REPORT STORIES LESS "OFF THE WALL"

BRIDGEPORT

OFF THE WALL NEWS'S  co-founder, senior anchor, and reporter Dave Taylor took what Taylor said "felt like a punch in the gut" this morning, when an independent survey reported that his news organization is reporting news beyond the scope of what readers want.  According to the survey, yet to be published due to its colorful language, many readers feel shock and awed from the off the wall stories dug up by Taylor and his crack team of investigators.
"We are giving them pure chocolate and they want vanilla!" Taylor said while holding his head
A flabbergasted  Dave Taylor 
in a face to face conference with his image in a mirror. "I just don't get it."
He quickly canceled a New Years Day story that was to be published early next year (tomorrow), having to do with a pregnant nun and her identical twin sister. "The pregnant nun wasn't sure who the "father' was while her sister did and it got complicated from there."

Taylor plans to take a few days off, his first in ten years, and debate his options.  "Its been a long time since I used my brain to think vanilla." he admitted.  "But I'll come up with something even if its peanut brittle."

OFF THE WALL NEWS wishes everyone a Happy New Year and promises to be back in 2016 with....whatever!.

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