Saturday, January 2, 2016

STUDY FINDS MOST PEOPLE GAZING AT THEMSELVES IN A SMALL MIRROR, NOT LOOKING AT A SMART PHONE

LATEST SCIENTIFIC PROBE VERIFIES MOST PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY LOOKING AT A SMALL MIRROR AND NOT A SMART PHONE

BRIDGEPORT


A disguised Prof Pubert Tee looks for answers
These days there are hordes of people walking around, head and necks down looking at their "smart phones."  Professor Pubert Tee, of the Bridgeport College of Inquiry, who became famous with his study on the truth of fortune cookies, decided to study this phenomenon.
He disguised himself and began hanging out anywhere people frequented.  He found himself hanging out in restaurants, bars, and rest rooms.  He followed people walking down the street, sometimes late at night. When ever he observed someone looking down at their phone, he would quickly run up behind them and look over their shoulder.  What he discovered, is a true reflection of who we are as a people.  "People are so infatuated with their own image", he reported. "They carry a small mirror to gaze at themselves, making others believe it is a smart phone."
Professor Tee hopes to write a book on his findings titled "No Private Matter" when he gets all his notes together.  "Most people won't admit they are looking at a mirror."  Tee said.  "But I have pictures of them and they will be in the book.  This will bring a new meaning to the word, Googling."
It should be added that Tee spent many days in the hospital as a result from his invasion of other's privacy.

(Editors Note:  This story is the first of what OFF THE WALL NEWS hopes is a more "vanilla" news story, to comply with the wishes of the readers.)
 

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