Thursday, June 9, 2016

GOVERNMENT FILES TO BE OPENED AFTER THOUSANDS SIGN PETITION

GOVERNMENT TO OPEN SECRET FILES AFTER RECEIVING TEN THOUSAND SIGNATURES DEMANDING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ONCE FAMOUS....

BRIDGEPORT, MN.

Thanks to a petition on Facebook, finally we may learn what happened to many noted people in our not too distant past.  The government has promised to open the files they have on The Pillsbury Dough-boy, Mr. Clean, and Pinocchio, just to name a few of the most popular icons.  Others near the top of the list are Tony the Tiger and Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
Pinocchio has retired from adult films
OFF THE WALL NEWS was able to hack the Bureau files in order to give readers a preview of what is to be released on Saturday.
Mr. Clean in 2015, keeping it clean!
Pinocchio, 72, is living in a retirement home near Phoenix, AZ. After his starring role in the movie that bore his name, Pinocchio was typecast and unable to get movie parts in main stream films.  After years of despair and lying about his age, he landed the leading role in "Pinocchio Nose Best", an adult blockbuster film that showcased him in a whole new light.  He was forced to retire in 2001 after he warped and started coughing up sawdust. 
A former star of TV commercials, Mr. Clean, now claims to be a ladies man and has written a book titled "Good Clean Fun", a women's guide to ecstasy without leaving a ring in the bathtub.  Clean, 76, lives alone, but has been seen with an inflatable doll numerous times, in the park near his mobile home. He still works out and  maintains  his mustache.
 
Probably the most famous and favorite character people wonder about is the Pillsbury Dough boy.  After a heated argument with his handlers, over the temperature of the ovens he was required to work in, he left the United States and ended up in Mexico City. He has spent the last twenty years letting people poke him at 100 Pecos a poke.  "It isn't much, but keeps me out of the oven." he confessed to OFF THE WALL NEWS.  He lives in a bread box with the former Little Debbie, who was forced into retirement due to obesity.

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