Sunday, July 31, 2016

LOCAL GROCER'S DECISION TO SELL MYSTERY MEAT HAS PEOPLE LINING UP TO BUY

PUFF'S GROCERIES AND MORE PLANS TO STOCK MYSTERY MEAT IN IT'S MEAT COUNTER BEGINNING MONDAY EVEN THOUGH LITTLE IS KNOWN ABOUT THE PRODUCT....

BRIDGEPORT, MN.

Yum?
Many thrill seekers have already started to line up outside Puff's Groceries and More, on 45th Street in Bridgeport. Puff's is closed today to clean and de-sanitize their meat case to make ready for the new product.
Buster Nutburg, 65, of Bridgeport, holds first place in line.  He plans to sleep overnight by the front door until the store opens tomorrow.
"Man, this is great!  I'm first in line to buy Mystery Meat.  What is it? Who knows, I mean, who doesn't like a good mystery, right?"
Mystery Meat is just that, a mystery and attempts to learn just what it is made from have been unsuccessful.  Some who have tasted it say it tastes like a mixture of frog and chicken, with hints of buffalo hide.
Buster Nutburg is first in line at Puff's
Aramark, the makers of Mystery Meat, isn't  saying much either, except that it is possibly cooked and feels sticky when handled.  They suggest washing your hands after handling the "meat".
OFF THE WALL NEWS obtained a package of Mystery Meat off the internet and tried it out in our test kitchen. The "meat" was fried in a fry pan and the odor that permeated from the sizzling meat reminded the staff of perfumed bug spray.  "Once past the smell, it didn't taste too badly, but it did leave a film on your tongue."
Puff's Groceries and More prides itself on stocking its shelves with mysterious items has taken out an insurance policy to protect themselves against law suits that may arise from Mystery Meat.


 

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