Tuesday, October 18, 2016

OFF THE WALL NEWS ENDORSES PETEA FYLE FOR PRESIDENT

AFTER VETTING BOTH CLINTON AND TRUMP, FYLE SEEMS MORE LIKEABLE, TOUCHING, AND BEST FIT TO LEAD COUNTRY.....

 BRIDGEPORT, MN.
Petea Fyle

No one saw him coming and today he is the most talked about candidate for president in and around Bridgeport since Donald Trump came riding down the escalator over a year ago.  Twenty-sixth in his high school class, he quit school to study hand gestures and politics, obtaining his GED while doing so.

Born and raised on a farm near Buff, Arkansas, he moved to Bridgeport after losing an election for Mayor when he was 22, 26, and again at age 30.  "I wanted to go somewhere where people didn't look at me like I was a loser." he told the Boy Scout troop he joined after his arrival in Bridgeport. "I threw a dart at a map and here I am!"

Campaigning for Mayor in Buff got his juices flowing and he knew he wanted to aim higher.  What really got him going was after watching an episode of The Brady Bunch, where Marcia campaigned for her own bathroom after she found Peter hiding under the sink. "She was awesome!" quipped Fyle. "I hated to see that show canceled, but I knew right then and there, I wanted to be the President of the United States."

Otto Pilot
As he is affiliated with no party, Fyle formed the Buddy Party and  called a boyhood buddy of his, Otto Pilot and asked him to be his running mate.  Pilot accepted and the two said they would do anything to get into the last debate, which seems unlikely since little is known about Pilot, who spent time in the Buff Arkansas county jail.

All in all, OFF THE WALL NEWS in following its creed of "what the hell" has decided to promote this team of unknowns.  Donations are being accepted.

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