Wednesday, December 28, 2016

SERIOUS NECK INJURIES ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO UFO SIGHTINGS

THE NATIONAL INSURANCE INSTITUTE REPORTS INJURED NECK CLAIMS HAVE DOUBLED IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS, COINCIDING WITH UFO SIGHTINGS NEAR BRIDGEPORT...


BRIDGEPORT, MN.

The anatomy of Crane's Pain caused by UFO sightings
Doris Saliva, 36 is in stable condition tonight  after checking into the Bridgeport Head and Neck Clinic.  Claiming she spotted a strange object in the sky above her house, she craned her head upwards and watched the object move about radically.  In doing so, clinic doctors believe she suffered third degree whiplash as she followed the movement of the object.
This type of whiplash is more commonly called Crane's Pain, for the Bridgeport doctor who first diagnosed it, Dr. Elzer Crane.  "What we have here with Ms. Saliva is  Crane's Pain at its worst." Crane told OFF THE WALL news. "With all the UFO sightings, it's only going to get worse."
Saliva is the sixth person with Crane's Pain to check into the clinic in the last three days.  Officials are recommending people to look downward at a hand held mirror to look for UFOs above them and not to crane their heads skyward.
If you find yourself suffering from Crane's Pain, contact the Bridgeport Head and Neck Clinic and ask for Dr. Crane.
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