Wednesday, March 15, 2017

BRIDGEPORT MEDICAL CLINIC TO TREAT WOMAN WITH WOOD ROT IN HER WOODEN LEGS

HER PHYSICIAN CLAIMED HIS PATIENT HAS BEEN COMPLAINING OF HAVING A HOLLOW FEELING IN HER LEGS AND A SIMPLE BORE UNCOVERED THE ROT....

BRIDGEPORT, MN

Doctors at the Bridgeport Medical Clinic (BMC) decided to admit the woman, whose name is being withheld because of  medical privacy laws, in hopes of chipping away at a cure for her condition.  To aid readers and avoid confusion in this story, she is being called Ms.Stump.

BMC lead physician, Dr. Forrest Fyre told OFF THE WALL NEWS Ms. Stump was resting comfortably after having over 15 ounces of rotted saw dust  material cleaned from wounds in both legs.
Ms. Stump  after being attacked by a Pileated Woodpecker.

Ms. Stump told doctors she first noticed the hollow feeling in her legs after walking in the woods and being attacked by a Pileated Woodpecker. "I tried to run", she said, "But I felt like I was rooted in one spot and the Woodpecker did his thing with me."  She failed to report the attack until she started losing strips of bark on both legs, leading to a hollow feeling as the rot set in.

Ms. Stump received her wooden legs as a child after misusing a chainsaw on her uncles Christmas tree farm. As no prosthetic legs were available at the time, a quick thinking Eagle Scout suggested using some young Birch limbs. The limbs were grafted onto her hips and  not rejected by her body, delighting her wood carver father.  The Eagle Scout received a merit badge in the process and now is a Forrest Ranger in the Red Wood Forest. 
Meanwhile doctors at BMC have been busy grafting new bark on her shins as well as removing beetle larva embedded in body cavities.  If she continues to improve, (knock on wood) Ms. Stump will be released and be able to return to work at her father's wood carving store, where she is a model.
"Life is good!" she cheerfully told OFF THE WALL NEWS. "Once I'm cured, I plan to float down the river and relax before returning to work." 


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