|"I'm going to wean myself, I'll be the biggest weaner of all times."|
"It takes a real man to wean himself," he told OFF THE WALL news, "and I'll show the world what a great big weaner I am!"
To show he meant business, he shaved his head and had his hair sent to a pet mortuary.
"Everyone knows how much I like my hair, I mean who wouldn't like it, but it had to be done. Now little dead critters will have it."
Trump stood up and went to one of the large windows behind his desk before continuing. ."I've known many people who try to wean themselves from their bad habits and fail. But I am the chief weaner and when it's all over I'll be known as a Presidential weanee!"
Kellyanne praised him and rubbed his bald head before ushering the news media out of the oval office. OFF THE WALL news will follow this story until the President's hair grows back.