Friday, November 3, 2017

YAWNING CHAMPION CROWNED AFTER JUDGES FALL ASLEEP

LOCAL MAN YAWNS HIS WAY INTO FIRST PLACE, CAUSING PANEL OF JUDGES TO NOD OFF....

BRIDGEPORT, MN.

Yawning Judges, Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod
Clare Voyant, 50, of Bridgeport won the National Yawning Championship tonight, causing the competition's three most prestigious judges to fall into what appeared to be a deep slumber.
Voyant had been one of two finalist in the competition and took the stage just after 8 P.M.  He immediately began yawning while showing pictures of his trip to an Iowa petting farm. The pictures showed him yawning while petting various farm animals. At 8:40 P.M. he closed his eyes and yawned  and stretched for six full minutes while Asian string musicians began playing music of the their homeland. Then as the music played, Voyant began showing photos on a huge screen of the 2903 graves in his hometown graveyard. In between yawns, he read the names on the tombstones and the date they died.  By 9:03 P.M. two of the judges were nodding uncontrollably, while the third judge sat chin to chest.

Clare Voyant at home.
Voyant was declared winner  at 10:17 P.M. by the sleepy head judge and everyone filed out of the auditorium.  OFF THE WALL news will be showing a video of the final contest without commercial interruption, on Sunday.

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