Tuesday, November 7, 2017

NUN SUES DRUG COMPANY AFTER BECOMING ADDICTED TO PLACEBO

STRAWBERRY PHARMACEUTICAL CO. IS BEING CHARGED WITH UNLAWFUL DISTRIBUTION OF A PLACEBO AFTER LOCAL NUN BECOMES ADDICTED DURING COMPANY DRUG TRIAL......

BRIDGEPORT, MN.

Sister Mary Alice Partee, of the Bridgeport Church of the Sacred Secret was back in court yesterday, hoping to call out Strawberry Pharmaceutical for addicting her to Wextinal PMZ, a potent anti laxative drug. Sister Partee was part of a double blind drug test in which she received a three times a day placebo.

Sister Partee, addicted to placebos and looking like Huckabee
In the case, Partee claims she became addicted to the placebo and must take it daily, which increases her weight, causing church parishioners to mistake her for Sara Huckabee Sanders.
Strawberry Pharma denies Partee's claim and says Partee, an admitted laxative addict who uses over the counter laxatives for weight control, continued using over the counter laxatives while taking the Wextinal PMZ placebo.

Lawyers for the plaintiff say Sister Mary Alice has been fighting weight gain since winning a pizza eating contest at age 15.  After entering the convent at age 18, she discovered over the counter laxatives and began secretly using them to help control her weight gains.  Last May she realized one problem had morphed into another and wanted to break the laxative habit. After reading a poster about the double blind anti-laxative test, she volunteered.
As attorneys for Strawberry Pharmaceuticals claimed Sister Mary Alice had been taking the over the counter drugs with the Wextinal PMZ placebo, a scientific research team working for the plaintiff, discovered the placebo's main ingredient was made of pepperoni and sausage pizza, with extra cheese.
The jury was still out as of this writing.

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