Thursday, November 30, 2017

SANTA IS LATEST TO BE ACCUSED OF SEXUAL MISCONDUCT AFTER EXPOSING HIMSELF

SANTA HAS BEEN BANNED FROM THIS YEARS CHRISTMAS PARADE AFTER A PICTURE MYSTERIOUSLY SURFACED SHOWING HIM EXPOSING HIMSELF NEXT TO THE CHRISTMAS TREE.....

BRIDGEPORT, MN.

Santa exposing himself in front of the tree.
As the tide of sexual misdeeds continues to fill the national headlines, it appears no one can be sure of who will be exposed next. (No pun intended). 
From Hollywood movie stars, to politicians, to news anchors, the list goes on and on, much like the EverReady Bunny.

Today's breaking news of Santa exposing himself in front of a Christmas tree, is causing some Santa Claus believers to second guess their beliefs.
One told OFF THE WALL news, "I mean, getting caught kissing Momma under the mistletoe is one thing, but this is quite another! I only hope there were no kids in the room." 

When reached at the North Pole for comment, Claus appeared shocked and confused, "Huh?  I don't recall any such incident, but admit to not wearing my belt tightly enough sometimes." 
No one is sure who submitted the photo, but the White House said plans are in the works to alter Christmas to make it a safer holiday. All life sized Santa Clauses will be made of cardboard and made to stand next to an artificial tree. Deluxe Santa cut outs will come equipped with a recorded "Ho, Ho, Ho!"

Santa apologizes to all offended, regrets this uproar, and looks forward to saner days ahead.

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