After hearing shots fired early this morning, federal agents surrounded the wild animal enclosure on the White House lawn and were surprised to find Donald Trump Jr. posing with a dead turkey. "Hey, back off guys!" he yelled. "This gobbler was fair game and trying to get away. I was able to get it before it flew."
|"It was fair game!"|
When the President was notified of the mix-up, he waved his hand and said, "I pardon this turkey posthumously and I'll see to it that it gets to the White House chef. I'll make sure the bird gets on my table and is eaten. If people would hunt more, just think how we could cut world hunger. Donald Jr. is under appreciated and he should be commended for his actions."
White House officials are frantically searching for a replacement turkey for the pardoning ceremony and hopefully Jr. will be too busy to do any more hunting this holiday week.